T-Blog

Upcoming shows (aka why haven't I blogged in months)

2009-08-24T16:50:00.000-07:00

So I haven't blogged for MONTHS!!! I've been so busy with life that I haven't had the time to observe, document, or comment on it. I have three upcoming shows in LA.

Here are the deets:

First show is this Wed. Aug. 26th at the Key Club on the Sunset Strip. Info can be found here: http://www.thechoreographerscarnival.com/

Then I have shows in September with my dance company: Sat 5th and 12th in Silver Lake. Info under "Calendar" here: http://datugandancetheatre.com/

Also in September I'm guest dancing with Vaughn Dance Company Sat 19th & 26th and Sun 20th & 27th in Venice. Info here http://www.vaughndance.org/

If anyone's wondering what to get me for my upcoming birthday

2009-04-15T14:51:00.001-07:00

Don't get me this.

Or maybe do, but pretend like you didn't read this.

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Guest GayDealbreaker

2009-04-12T10:29:00.000-07:00

I was lucky enough to have a little blog I wrote be chosen to be published by the fabulous Marissa and Mike on their blog (my fav. new blog) Dealbreaker. You should check out the blog not just b/c mine is funny but b/c the blog is consistently funny. Especially if you're dating. I describe the blog as "Seinfeld" for hipsters.

Also Zabeth (my BFFE/roommie) has written one or two over there. Check them out and keep an eye out for more of ours.

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Guys With iPhones

2009-04-06T17:29:00.000-07:00

OMG! Today thanks to one of my favorite blogs: http://dealbreaker.tumblr.com/ I stumbled upon a blog that I'm just not sure how to respond to. It's hot, but it's also ridiculous and really weird. It features men in various states of undress who take pictures of themselves with thier iPhones (warning there are a few big fat cocks). I want one.

An iPhone, that is.

http://guys-with-iphones.tumblr.com/

I'm just glad that I didn't see anyone I know on there.

Yet.

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Dating is Hell.

2009-04-05T13:33:00.000-07:00

I've maintained a profile on the website OkCupid.com for roughly two years. It's led me on a few adventures; some good, some annoying. But never before have I received a message from someone on the site like the one I received at 6:30am this morning. Due to it's insanity (and the equally scary profile of this straight man (feel free to look him up), I have no qualms about publishing the message in its entirety:

"Men and Women

Did you know that women are receivers for the desires of men, and that women produce no new desires of their own that are stable? Women who aggressively go after what they want are aggressively obeying the things they think the men they listen to want. Feminism does not work.

A good woman obeys the true man. A good man loves truth more than anything and always listens to it.

Men work constantly to build accurate new DNA and vibrations from the senses they perceive. Their equipment is outside their bodies and their interests are into the world. They are the laboratory. Women work continually to maintain the DNA and vibrations they have been given. Their equipment is packaged away and guarded. They are the library.

9 < [.], [.]8, [.]9. [.]5, [.]3, /[.]9.

<>< Great William"

I think it's time to stop dating all together.

T-Bob's ridiculously long Watchmen review

2009-03-08T14:30:00.000-07:00

NO SPOILERS!!! (At least I don't think so...)

Have you read the graphic novel? If so you'll be pleased with the generally faithful adaptation. If not, the credit sequence might leave you a little lost and confused. But not to worry, you should start to piece things together in the next 15 min. or so. Overall Watchmen is an enjoyable drama/action movie that happens to focus on superheros.

The design elements are a lot of fun (Especially some of the small details in set dressing) if a bit on the dark side. And the redesign of the characters' costumes bring them a fresh look, reveal character, and are pretty sexy and/or fun. The age make up for Sally (the original Silk Spectre), is pretty glaringly fake, and somewhat distracting, but otherwise the make up was completely unnoticeable which is a great thing. The movie has a lot of yummy male homoerotic visuals (If you're into that sort of thing- The debate rages on: Is Dr. Manhattan cut or uncut?)! In addition to the Dr.'s glowing full frontal, there is plenty of naked male buttocks and just barely a female breast shot (for those who like that sort of thing). They did get a little carried away with the blood and gore factor throughout the movie, sometimes it was just unnecessary (especially after the death in the prison bathroom).

The story gets a little bogged down in back story early in the second act and then is slowed down by more back story at the end of the second act. Then the script doesn't really let you into the inner lives of the two main, main characters quickly enough. The combo of these two things are why I think the story never quite hooks you in all the way: It's like it just grabs at your shirt instead of your heart. The minuscule renewable energy subplot is a completely unnecessary addition that adds nothing. However the complete obliteration of the annoying news stand (and pirate story within a story) sub-sub plot are a welcomed change. The inclusion of this would have made the an movie an unwatchable mishmash. And the re-conceptualization of the climax is a nice change that furthers some of the themes of the story. But then again, the denouement is dragged down by having to wrap up so many plot lines. A lot of the structural problems are due to the source material so I have to give the movie credit for keeping the audience at least visually engaged during the parts that dragged.

The action scenes are fun and exciting but nothing new (just lots of great ass kicking). And there's a big explosion or two if that's your thing. The acting is pretty good across the board except for the chick that plays The Silk Spectre II (AKA Laurie)- she's a little bit cardboard-y at times. The guys who play Rorschach and Dan (Nite Owl II) stand out by bringing more depth, vulnerability, and believability to their roles.

The soundtrack is a strange but mostly effective combination of period pop music (to aid with the many time lines), weird, pseudo-Vangelis synth music (that I think was supposed to hint at the 80s), and straight up action score. The sound effects are deafeningly over the top and often distracting.

Didn't love it. Didn't hate it. But it was a really fun distraction on a Saturday night.

Book Titles, Brevity, and Barely Legal Porn.

2009-02-09T16:12:00.000-08:00

Book Titles:
Evidently, Jeremy Pair, it's not just a song:

Brevity:
Recently (in the past 30 or so years) it's come to my attention that I'm unable to be brief in my writing. This is NOT the case in my scripts. My scripts are pretty lean and tight for the most part and stick right on the bare bones of the story (confirm or deny by reading of them that won an award: http://www.writesafe.com/wscontestwinners34.html )

But in everything that's not a script (blog, "quick" note to a friend, facebook wall post, etc.) I tend to ramble on quite a bit, fearing that whatever I leave out will confuse the reader. I don't really know why this is. Just know that it's something to consider. Okay? Moving on:

Barely Legal Porn:
You know what's annoying? Besides the font's refusal to cooperate on this fucking blog? Whenever you link something on Blogger it opens the link in your current window! And that is about as annoying as all the pop up windows I get whenever I watch barely legal porn. I mean, I imagine that must be what it's like when one watches said pornography- not that I do. But I've heard. A friend of mine told me about the pop ups. Yeah.

Speaking of porn: Seacrest Out!

William Stryker was right.

2009-02-02T19:03:00.000-08:00

I originally thought that the X-Men were a pretty good thing. Sure they're mutants, but they seem to always swoop in (in their sexy ass costumes) at the last possible second and save us humans when some horrible villain is out to get us. I had heard Stryker's claims that mutants were Satan's attempt to destroy humankind by corrupting prenatal souls (the corruption taking the form of mutation). He went on to claim that, unchecked, mutants (especailly the X-Men) would take over the planet and eventually wipe out humans, but I never really believed it. Until I came home from Trader Joe's the other day.
Trader Ming's Peanut Satay is a staple of my diet. I love it's spicy/peanut-y sauce. The noodles have a lot of carbs which are great for a pre-dance-rehearsal or pre-dance-show meal. I add in some unsalted peanuts after heating to add in a little more fat (b/c I love fat) and protein (b/c you need protien), and because they're delicious. So the other day when I opened my cute little Thai-inspired mealbox, I heard William Stryker's voice echoing in my head "X-Men will take over the planet".
The genocide has begun: Consider us warned.

Long Time, No Blog

2009-01-28T01:40:00.000-08:00

I've been away from the blog for quite a while. It's because I'm terrified of blogging too short.

I'm a little bored, but COME ON!

2008-12-16T15:02:00.000-08:00

What is this woman's deal?

I watched this woman across the street drive up and down her driveway a million times. I just can't figure out what she's trying to do. The path into the garage is clear, the garage door is open. What more does she need? To go up and down just one more time, evidently.

Unfortunate/Inappropriate Packaging

2008-12-13T19:18:00.000-08:00

Ordering Beauty Products Online

I'm uncomfortable. Seriously. I ordered some products online from Sephora that I've been ordering for years: Face lotion, face soap, etc. And for some miracle (I think the original was a free sample or something, I really don't remember) I found an amazing shaving cream that I cannot live without. The brand is Aubrey Organics "Men's Stock" and the flavor is "north woods". It not only smells delicious, but it refuses to let the razor irritate my skin! Which is a big problem for me with so many other shaving creams/lotions. I have extremely sensitive skin and have problems with irritation, razor bumps, and ingrown hairs (Anthony Logistics has an awesome ingrown hair product). So finding this was a Godsend. Also; SUPER FREAKIN' CHEAP!!! I think it was $6 or something.

However Sephora doesn't carry it so I had to order it from another site: luckyvitamin or something? And it came before my Sephora stuff! When I opened it I got another fun surprise.

That sticker, "The Gripper" is there to "stop liquid leaks". So that's good. There was no mess. That's all fine. But then I looked at the front of "The Gripper" and:
Enough said. I'm gonna go throw away all the rubber gloves and Crisco in the house.

Also: I can't stop laughing at this!

My 7th Grade Health Teacher Was Right, Damnit!

2008-12-10T11:07:00.000-08:00

I hope I'm not eating plastic. (Also, can't get this font size to cooperate!)

I hadn't realized how much internet = my crack until lately. I've barely been able to pull myself away for the most basic human needs like eating, peeing, watching Dexter... And I know I have an obsessive personality so it should have occurred to me before now. But it took a ridiculous and extraordinary circumstance to make me really realize it.

I'm not even talking about the 24 hr period where I couldn't get into gchat b/c of a wonky internet connection at my brother's, where I'm house sitting. And I'm not talking about the 12 hr period where the internet completely stopped working. I'm talking about peanut butter.

Trader Joe's creamy and unsalted peanut butter. You have to "stir after opening" b/c the oil and peanut matter separate. Then it has to be refrigerated or it will go bad. While in the fridge though, it tends to solidify a little, making it difficult to spread once removed from the coldbox.

So I've gotten in the habit of warming it on the stove. Not putting it over a flame or anything, but just setting it over where I know the pilot light to be, so it will soften up a bit. But that's at home. My brother's house is different.

This morning I turned on the computer, and started to prepare my breakfast of coffee and a peanut butter and blackberry preserves sandwich. I put the kettle on, set the peanut butter near it on the stove, and went about my addiction.

Tom Anderson, my 7th grade teacher insisted that you can become addicted to anything (Although he stuttered a little and it sounded like "You can become a dick, Ted, to anything"). I know this to be true for myself after years of borderline OCD behaviour with the O taking the driver's seat and the C not even in the car. My current addiction/distraction/creative block (see first post) is the internet: Specifically facebook and gchat.

What is that? Smells like something burning. Ooo! A Wall post on facebook! HahaHa! My extremely talented illustrator friend, Russ, sends me the funniest stuff. Mmmm. Really should see about that smell. Maybe it's the neighbor... Ooo! New comment on my status. Oh, Hello Zabeth! Nice to chat with you! You look awesome as the gyros girl in your 2009 calender! OKAY! WHAT IS THAT SMELL?

Oh crap. The peanut butter caught on fire. The plastic melted and the peanut butter ooooooozed out on to the stove (I cleaned it up before the pic). Don't worry, everything's fine. I need to go to OA (Obsessers Anonymous, I wonder if that's real?). Must get away from the computer and live my life. Why aren't I working on one of my many story ideas which I can turn into scripts and take over Hollywood? Why am I so afraid of failure (or most likely success)? Why can't I get myself to overcome that part of me that doesn't want me to succeed?

I don't know... I'm just gonna eat this potentially poisonous pb&j (it might have plastic in it, but at least it's not like that plastic-milk from China). Yum.... Ooo! Kurt just sent me a new message!!!

P.S.! I'm now a Finalist in the WriteSafe contest I wrote about!!! I'm hoping I win so I can take a workshop at tvwriter.com for free. I think that's one of the prizes... Cross your fingers!

The Holla!days Make Vest Dreams Come True

2008-12-07T14:39:00.000-08:00

How I took my Holla!day from Drab to Fab:
Last night I went to a delightful holiday party. And the real drama was before the party when I learned that it was going to be (cue "Psycho" violins) a cocktail party! Zabeth broke it to me gently halfway through our shitty dinner at Lotteria Grill (the one on Hollywood- I usually tip 20% no matter what, but the service was so bad I don't even think I tipped 5%). I stood atop our outdoor table, screamed "WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?" and ignored the catcalls from the SantaCon participants passing by. I'm not a big cocktail attire person. Jeans and T shirt are my modus operondi which exude my joie de vivre, and a certain je ne sais quoi.

After dinner we jetted home and I frantically tore the house apart trying to figure out what to wear (while having a conversation w/Zabeth via facebook wall posts and listening to Vince Guaraldi Trio's "A Charlie Brown Christmas"). I pulled out a tired, old outfit I've worn to business-ish meetings, and it was just plain dissapointing. Then I mentioned "The Vest" to Zabeth. Her eyes lit up with a sparkle I haven't seen since she last picked up a wiener dog. I've owned this Vest since high school when I wore It once and have since kept It in the back of my mind and closet just dying to wear It but never seeming to find the right opportunity or ensemble.

What happened next can only be described as a delightful montage of dressing scenes with "Linus and Lucy" providing the aural backdrop. I tried the vest on with everything I own. And each time got a different reaction from Zabeth (a shrug, mocking laughter, curling up into a comatose ball). At one point I jested that perhaps I should just wear the vest with nothing underneath! Zabeth tossed me a shake of the head that said she disapproved. Finally we settled on black pinstriped pants, an ill-fitting grey dress shirt with too-puffy sleeves which had to be rolled up, and The Vest. I was happy I got to wear It but still didn't feel confident in the costume.

When we arrived at the party (boy it was warm in there) I was relieved to see that other people had very creative interpretations of cocktail attire as well. A red, silk smoking jacket here; a slimey 70s plaid turtle neck under a tweed sport coat, an off-white oil tycoon suit with matching 10-gallon hat, green dress shirt, and red tie. I knew I was going to be okay, but really felt like I was doing a disservice to The Vest by not having the right get-up to really show off all it's vest-alicious glory.

That was before the mulled wine.

I really didn't drink hardly any. And honestly I wasn't even the tiniest bit tipsy. It was more that those around me drank hardily and that I was in an especially confident and daring mood (due to a brunch I had that morning with a guy I'm not dating. Okay, it wasn't so much the brunch, but the pre-brunch, um, "invitation" through which I learned that he just cannot resist me). And it was really roasty toasty in there. It happened like this: I was chatting with Zabeth, Joy Allen, and her friend Lauren Kalb around the roaring fire - in Los Angeles - where it's in the 60s. And not being one to let anything go, I again joked that perhaps I would be more comfortable if I took off my shirt and just wore The Vest. I got nothing but thumbs up.

Well, that's not entirely true. I did get a few looks of shock, surprise, and disapproval (not from the host or hotess, luckily). But after a while nobody even seemed to notice that I wasn't wearing a shirt, just "The Vest". I don't know what it is about people but they seem to love me shirtless with a vest.

When it was time to go, I went and put my shirt back on, and was a little surprised to hear people who I hadn't even spoken to the entire night cajole me for having fully clothed myself. "Why'd you put your shirt back on?" they cried. I knew the vest got it's due . So with many frowny faces, Zabeth and I made our way out of the house and out into the cold, er, temperate evening.

Oh, The Vest will make a comeback. You can count on that.

Validation

2008-12-06T15:59:00.000-08:00

Validationtime:
A script I wrote (a TV pilot called Spooksville) was selected as a semi finalist in this contest that I completely forgot about... It's strange b/c every other contest that I've entered, I've followed obsessively - constantly checking to see if they've posted the winners, or any news, etc. But this one, honestly and a little ashamedly, I completely forgot about. So it was EXTRA exciting when I found out that I am in the running!!! The contest is the Writesafe Present-a-thon and you can see the proof in red and white (b/c they don't list them in black and white) here.

To say the least I'm very excited. It's so validating to know that not only did someone (or a group of someones) "get it" but they also must have really liked it. It's very satisfying after several months of entering contests and either hearing nothing, or seeing that I didn't even place. I don't really know who all read it, or how much of a big deal this is (b/c I didn't do my research like I should have), but whether I win or not, "it's a pleasure just to be nominated." That kind of validation inspires me to keep going at a time when I've really been struggling with just getting myself "to the page" (as they say). (Actually I don't know if anyone says that but I'm gonna say it, and I just did say it, so there!) So spec script #2, here I come! Onward ho!

Twilightmare

2008-11-24T11:37:00.000-08:00

Or: How my faith in mankind has been restored.

I saw Twilight last night with my brother and my friend, his fiancee. I don't even know where to start to talk about that movie. It was the ultimate. It had everything you want in a movie: Bad dialogue, bad make up, melodramatic acting, shimmery skin, chase scenes, "dazzling" special effects, odd-looking but still attractive underage actors and actresses, 2 dimensional characters, overwrought teen angst, and a poorly structured story that left you feeling like the writers forgot what they were supposed to be building up to until the last 1/4 and that there were scenes cut out of the first 3/4 of the movie and replaced with scenes of people sharing "meaningful glances".

However, I was pleased that when completely ridiculous, laughable things happened on screen ("you better hold on, spider monkey"), I (and often my brother and his fiancee) were not the only ones who actually laughed out loud. I felt like I wasn't the only person who was in touch with what quality means in movie making. I felt like I had come home.

It's true, though, that the movie was extremely entertaining. I enjoyed watching it because of it's ridiculous nature. And the stars were pretty cute, if not overly coated in white clown make up and whore-red lipstick (for a moment I thought the main guy was going for the geisha look, and the Dr. looked like 80s albino Tom Cruise).

I can't wait for the next one to come out.

Datetowne

2008-11-21T13:10:00.000-08:00

I had a date earlier this week with a very nice gentleman. I met him on a dating website. We chatted on IM for about a week and finally met. He was really nice and we had a nice evening. I wouldn't say no if he asked me out again.

And my date for tonight got downgraded into friends hanging out. I met this guy at a Halloween party at a friend of a friend's place. I'm a little disappointed that it's not a date, b/c the guy is really cool and sweet, but I'm just gonna try to have a good time and see what happens.

PoMoHomoAfro Art

2008-11-20T11:30:00.000-08:00

How I joined a new school of art:

I got a webcam that I ordered from amazon a couple of days ago, because gchat added a video option and a couple of my friends have it, so I thought I'd check it out. However since my computer is so old and has no room I can't really add ANYTHING to it.
The next day I went grocery shopping but because our house is so small, I didn't have room for my tortilla chips in my section of the cupboard. So I left them in my reusable Trader Joe's bag in the kitchen. Later that night my roommate had moved the bags (one empty, one with just the chips) into my room.
As I was tidying up my room I put the bags away and put the chips into the webcam box and the following art was created: My roommate calls it "Chips in a Box 2008":
And today my roommate and I realized that there's more art to be created all around us: She was the stylist for the piece "Thombat with Stale Bread in a Shaft of Sunlight 2008": And really the whole point of PoMoHomoAfro Art is that anyone with a digital camera and Photoshop is a fine art photographer (That's ME!). Don't know if I'll ever put those chips away or get that webcam installed, though.

The Sky Is Falling (No wait that's ash from the fires)

2008-11-19T11:31:00.000-08:00

My eyes have been bloodshot for the past two days. And yesterday when I blew my nose (this might be a little much for our younger readers) I had some crusty remnants of what must have been an overnight bloody nose. And my throat has been all scratchy. So either the smoke and ash from the Santa Barbara fires is irritating me, or I'm developing allergies, or I'm dying.

In Obama news there's an Obama Health care gathering tomorrow in Angelino Heights. MoveOn.org is hosting it I think. Click the link for deets.

It Really Is The Apacolypse (or What to do in an emergency)

2008-11-18T09:40:00.000-08:00

So get this: My brother's internet is down, Firefox had an update that's screwing up a bunch of people's websites, yahoo mail has been screwing up, and then I tried to tweet to day, but guess what? Twitter was down (you can follow me there)!!! But it's okay. I've got rules for a situation like this:

Step 1: Crap pants
Step 2: Buy Bottled Water
Step 3: Get thee to a nunnery
Step 4: Put the Hu Cha Cha on everyone

Obama Dacnes (or How the President-Elect Pulled a Bill Clinton)

2008-11-17T19:43:00.001-08:00

I know this is old news, but I can't get over how funny and awkward and delightful and endearing and strange and staged and touching this is. Obama's a person just like you and me. He dances to Beyoncé the same way everyone does. I'd love to see him tear up "Single Ladies". Fierce.

A Senator Resigns (or How To Upset Drunk People)

2008-11-15T16:07:00.000-08:00

So I recently went to my favorite live weekly game/comedy show, "The Friday Forty". It's a live show where contestants try to answer 40 questions about the events of the last 7 days amidst comedy sketches! The contestants all drink 40-ouncers of Budweiser products and get bonus points for finishing said Fawties! Towards the end of this particular show one of the questions was "Which U.S. Senator resigned this week?" or something to that effect. The delightfully impaired contestants (one of whom was Molls from the entertaining blog Molls she wrote) scratched their heads as Scott Gimple, and Dave Holmes (the show's witty hosts and writers) counted down the timer. The audience uproared in disbelief and finally scored a point with the resounding chorus of "Obama!" Well duh. Reffering to Obama's resignation Molls stood up and slured her protest, "COME ON! THAT DOESN'T COUNT!" I talked to her later at the bar and she stressed the importance of self awareness while she snapped a picture of us. I want her to be my new best friend.

And, yes, it is that Dave Holmes. And he's a really talented guy and super sweet. And don't even get me started on that Scott Gimple!

Out of a Cocoon (or How I Use up a LOT of paper)

2008-11-14T19:45:00.000-08:00

A few years ago I did this "creative recovery program" called The Artist's Way. I learned all about myself and my "creative blocks". Creative Blocks are those things that we abuse (usually subconsciously) by focusing on them and blocking ourselves from being creative (Examples: junk food, sex, alcohol, drugs, and my "favorite" painful love). Now all this sounds delightfully new-agey, doesn't it? And yet I was so unhappy with the restrictive cocoon of a life that I had created that I just threw myself into it. I didn't care how lame or cheesy the stuff was, I just did it! And from that program I learned to knock out all my creative blocks and emerged a much more happy, free and creative person.

However, one of the requirements of the "program" is called "Morning Pages". UGH! They're three pages of hand written stream-of-consciousness done 1st thing in the morning without exception. These were so brutal sometimes: Partially because I was working a job that sometimes required me to be there at 4:30am-no joke; and partially because they were so freeing that sometimes you don't know what to write (or maybe part of you is scared to write what you're really thinking). But you just do them. And the main thing is that you use a whole frickin (I'm not quite dorky enough to say frakkin) LOT of paper!

And towards the end of the program I started to feel guilty about it! I used whole days worth of Morning Pages getting lost in thoughts of saw mills and the destruction of the world's last timber (and there may have been one or two sexy lumberjacks in there). So while emerging as a healthier person was what I desperately needed to get on with my life and become who I know I'm meant to be, I had created a whole new creative block (obsessing over paper) that was created by a program designed to remove blocks!

Maybe I'm neurotic (stop shaking your head yes). Maybe I over think things to the point where I can't see the issue rationally (do not point at that picture my ex who I broke up with and then the next day asked him why we couldn't be together and confessed, "I really love you."). Or maybe, just maybe I'm just a extremely sensitive person who needs some sort of cocoon (or little blockage, or some sort of filter) just to wrap myself up in and deal with the world so I can come out again and be the creative little butterfly I am (please choose this one).

Or maybe I'm thinking of something else completely.

But now is a time in my life where I seem to be coming out of another cocoon, and this blog is a product of that. It happens to be happening while a bunch of other things in my life are happening to (in the Artist's Way we call all this happening Convergence). Obama was elected president (Yay!), Prop 8 passed (Boo), my brother's career is really taking off (Yay!), I'm dating again (We'll see). So to celebrate my reemergence I thought I'd start a blog. Because, as Jerri Blank says, among other things, "I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY!" And you know that if it was on TV it must have value! Ha! So I hope you enjoy the telling of my adventures, both real and fueled by my overactive imagination! Feel free to drop me a line and let me know what you think!